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Home Personal Perspectives Personal Perspectives "I know I am stronger and can overcome this . . ."

"I know I am stronger and can overcome this . . ."

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I was finally diagnosed with herpes summer 2012, even though I had my first outbreak in July 2011. My doctor at the time didn't test me for it because the sore was painless, and wrote it off as maybe a benign ulcer. It eventually became extremely painful; I would not wish that pain on my worst enemy. I researched herpes online and figured I had it. My first outbreak lasted a week. After it was over I figured, it was out of my life and I can be "normal" again.

A few months after the outbreak I found out I was pregnant. I was so petrified, not officially diagnosed, and afraid I might give it to my baby. I have a second outbreak around six months into my pregnancy, and it only lasted a few days. Now it’s getting closer to my due date and I’m freaking out. My blood pressure was high so we opted to do a C-section delivery.

I was terrified my baby could be sick. I told them to run all kind of test to make sure she was healthy. By the grace of God she was. But in the back of my mind I was still worried she could have herpes and it would be my entire fault!

Fast forward to a short time ago, when I had my third outbreak and finally was tested and confirmed to have genital herpes. Do I blame everyone for me having this and not finding out sooner? No. Because I was too embarrassed to let anyone know about the outbreaks. I went through all the emotions during my first outbreak: sadness, denial, anger, blaming others, and finally acceptance.

For the most part I’m ok with things. I don't date now because I feel right now I need to focus on my education and my child. However, I know having herpes is not the end of the world; every morning I wake up and see my beautiful daughter, I know I am stronger and can overcome this. I want to help others with herpes to know YOU CAN OVERCOME and BE STRONGER than ever.

 

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